I’ve been gone a while again. A few of you noticed! Thanks @CurvyFitGirl, @100Lighter, and @runoneaglewings for the twitter shout-outs to check on me! I’ve been putting in overtime at work and have had a three week sinus infection, so it’s been rough. Yep, full of excuses again.
Truth of the matter is, the biggest reason I’ve been MIA is that my weight moved out of the healthy range the last 4 weeks, weighing in at 146.3, 146.9, 147.2, and 146.4 lbs.
And you know what today is? The anniversary of hitting my goal weight. I’m over 20 lbs up from goal. I’m ashamed. I feel like a failure. I no longer feel like a success. *sigh*
I wish this was a happier celebration. I know it’s my party and I can cry if I want to, but actually, I choose not to! I am melancholy, but I choose to be hopeful! This is when I look on the bright side…
- I’m happy that I even have a “goal-iversary!”
- I haven’t gained back the remaining 55 lbs I have lost!
- I don’t look too shabby! (see morning Instagram selfie)
- I’ve basically maintained this weight for the last month, so maybe I’m not continuing to gain.
- I’m only 1-2 pounds out of the healthy weight range.
- The gain may actually be a side effect of new medication I was put on a few months ago.
- I keep trying.
Try as I may, there are clearly changes that need to be made. I’ve been sticking my head in the sand about it by not blogging about it, not taking advantage of your support, and not taking ownership of it. But now here I am. Change number one.
Tomorrow, I head to my annual physical to see about changing my medication. Not to mention, this also makes me take ownership of this weight gain, and I won’t be able to stick my head in the sand about what my health is looking like either. Change number two.
And then there is the stress and anxiety I have been dealing with lately. I am trying to get a hold of that, but I fear that is also impacting my weight and obviously my health. Luckily, I happened to run across a facebook post from fellow Weight Watcher diva, Suzi Storm, about the free Desire and Destiny 21-Day Meditation Experience with Oprah and Deepak Chopra that started this past Monday. I need to find that desire to be healthy again and make it my destiny! I’m only on Day 2, so I’ll let you know later if it helps! It’s totally free guided meditation, so check it out! Change number three.
Then last week, I noticed a book on my shelf that I randomly got a few years ago that I never read called, The SuperStress Solution. Hello! I think I need to read that! Ironically, I finally picked it up when I had massive insomnia the other night, and read for two and a half hours! Usually reading makes me sleepy, but this book was speaking to me! I am stressed even though I don’t live a high-powered life, and that’s normal! Thank god! And it’s supposed to help with my anxiety and insomnia! Funny that I still couldn’t sleep for another hour because I was so excited that this book might be able to help me! Again, I just started reading it, but I will be sure to let you know how it goes! Change number four.
Lastly, I’ve said a number of times, maybe my goal weight is unrealistic for me to maintain. I will probably leave my goal weight as 125 lbs, but I’m not going to beat myself if I never get there again. Ultimately, my goal is to stay in the healthy weight range, and base my success on how I feel and how my health is. Change number five.
So that leads me to this… When things aren’t working, sometimes you need to make some new changes. And those changes might not necessarily be where you think they are. Think outside the box. But always, always keep trying.
Have you guys tried to make changes lately? How is that going for you?
Weigh In Status: 21.4 lbs up from goal (you can see my entire weight loss log here)