Weekly Weigh In: Still Struggling, So Maybe Jillian Can Help

Well, there you have it. Back up 2.7 lbs, putting me back up 8.9 lbs from goal. Activity level… way down. Tracking… not so much. And I was so over it, I didn’t tweet my usual #WeighInWednesday, I didn’t take the usual snapshot of my Weight Watchers Weight Tracker for this post, and I wasn’t going to post at all, but of course, I have stuff on my mind. I went through some super-emotional relationship crap this past weekend, as some of my twitter friends know, so thank you for your kind words! And although things ended up working out (yay!), boatloads of emotional eating and drinking had already ensued! So, is this a fair weight gain? Absolutely. Do I feel like getting back on track this week? Not really. So yes, I am still struggling.

I suppose this is a normal thing, but I’ve never lost this much weight before! This whole trying to keep 75(-ish) lbs off thing is a whole new animal. And to be honest, no one around me is saying, hey, you look like you’ve gained some weight back. No, they still come up to me and tell me how skinny I am and how good I look. Although I love it, it’s not helping matters. I rationalize that I still look good… well, at least with clothes on!… so maybe I don’t need to track my food, or I can splurge more, or have more wine, or eat that giant cupcake, or workout less, etc. Ummm, ok… I know realistically that’s really stupid, yet it’s like I am an infant… you know, how they push the boundaries with their parents to see what they can get away with… I’m pushing the boundaries with my new-found weight loss to see what I can get away with. I can imagine that’s pretty normal. And well, I’m hoping eventually (soon!) I learn my lesson.

So to follow my own advice, and even though I may not feel like it, I’m gonna keep trying. I’m pretty sure my half-ass attempts at trying again the past few months has kept me from being a solid 25 lbs up from goal at least! So here’s this week’s plan:

#1: I’ve got my second official 5K race on Saturday. In the past, I would have been excited about this, but given my current state of affairs, I am COMPLETELY unprepared for it. I will run nowhere near my time in my first 5K, if I can even run the whole thing, and I’m having to get over it. I just have to keep telling myself just finish it, and by god, just be happy that you are making yourself do it! So I’m hoping that is part of the catalyst to get my act together.

#2: I bought Jillian Michaels Ripped in 30. After a twitter conversation with Jill and Brooke, I was sold. Jill heard from Jillian herself that Ripped was better than 30 Day Shred, and Brooke has done a blog series on her results with both Ripped and 30DS. So I had to trust in my peeps! See, I have not really done much strength training at all, and I really hate how flabby everything on my body is. I figured investing $10 in a DVD was better than investing much more on a gym membership and a personal trainer I will likely end up hating and quit going to, especially given the loss of my mojo (a.k.a. motivation) these days! So the plan is that Jillian will start kicking my butt on Sunday! Why am I putting it off until Sunday? I don’t want to risk being too sore for Saturday’s 5k and possibly not being able to do it at all!

And oh yeah, #3: I’m gonna try to be more cognizant of what I’m eating. I’m not gonna say that I will track everything this week because frankly, I know I won’t. So why set myself up for failure? Let’s just start with trying to get me back into the exercise habit again and see what happens!

So anyone fans of Jillian? What DVDs do you recommend? And how’s your mojo these days?

Weight: 133.9 lbs
Change this week: +2.7 lbs
Total lost: -67.2 lbs
You can also check out my entire weight log here 😉

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  1. Censie, 30 May, 2013

    I am struggling too. I havent been good about putting it on the blog either, I know it is because I am depressed about the lack of motivation I have! So frustrating. Tomorrow is a new day! Focus on what you have accopmplished!! xoxo
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  2. Lisa, 30 May, 2013

    Oh, Diva, you can do it. You may not be perfect, but you’ve proven you are strong. Good luck on the 5K.

  3. Rebecca, 30 May, 2013

    I wish I had great words of wisdom for you…but I do want you to know that by sharing your experiences, you have made me realize that I might actually be able to get to my goal. Struggling sucks….in every way….know you have people cheering you on …

  4. Jen, 31 May, 2013

    Congrats on losing the weight! This part is definitely the hardest. I lost 100lbs with WW about 4 years ago. I am currently about 6 lbs over my original goal weight. For the longest time I struggled going back and forth with these 6 lbs. When I got to goal with WW I was so focused on the number that I was an AWESOME WW member. I counted every point, I ate great, and I exercised almost everyday. When I reached it and moved into maintenance that lifestyle was hard for me to keep up with. That level of motivation all the time was exhausting. It wasn’t me. There were days that I didn’t want to count points, and didn’t want to exercise. Trying to stay at my goal weight was adding some unnecessary negativity to my life. I gave up on the battle. At the end of the day I lost a lot of weight, and the only person that notices those 6 lbs is me. I have maintained for a long time now, the lifestyle changes I learned at WW create the balance, and I finally came to a realization (at least for me anyway). If this is the weight where I can be a little lazy sometimes (not all the time) then this is my happy weight. Hope you find your happy place :) You look great!!!

  5. DivaonaDiet, 31 May, 2013

    You’ve been going through a lot of stuff too! Hang in there! We both have to! xxoo back ‘atcha!

  6. DivaonaDiet, 31 May, 2013

    Thanks, Lisa! I am definitely good at not being perfect! I do forget how strong I have been to get to where I am. Thanks for the reminder! 😉

  7. DivaonaDiet, 31 May, 2013

    Thank you so much, Jen! I am definitely trying to figure out what weight I can manage. I focused all my energies for a long time on getting this weight off, and now I am ready for that to not be the main focus of my life (my career and love life need a little attention!), and I think that is part of why I am struggling so much with the balance now. I so appreciate your story here. It helps me to believe that even if I never stay “at goal,” I will still be better off, and I can still be happy if I stay within 10 lbs of that goal. I just have to wrap my brain around that! Thanks for stopping by!

  8. DivaonaDiet, 31 May, 2013

    I do appreciate that. I love hearing that I can still inspire others to do this. It keeps me going, so thank you!!!

  9. Angie C, 02 June, 2013

    I came to your blog after seeing your success story on WW. All I can say is, go back and read your blog from 5/9. Get back up and find that motivation girl. Don’t do what I did! I hit goal and turned around and put it all back on plus 8 lbs. it’s easy to do when you feel like you can justify those 2 lbs at a time. Two pounds x 5 weeks makes 10 lbs gained and you can see how quick that adds up. Then it takes 2x as long to lose it again. Hoard your success. Don’t be perfect, just never give up. You have a phenomenal succeeds story. Don’t let anyone, in any relationship have that much control over whether you succeed or not. That’s putting power in the wrong hands.

  10. DivaonaDiet, 02 June, 2013

    Thanks for the motivation! It’s that fear of turning back into the old me and gaining it all back that keeps me trying! Doing the 5k yesterday really helped me to know I still have the drive in me! It just gets buried sometimes!

  11. Heather Hoffman, 03 June, 2013

    I am a new subscriber and I don’t blog, but I saw the link in my last WW email, so I subscribed. It’s really nice to know that there are others out there struggling like me. I’m an all or nithing kind of person and I really beat myself up, but I’m working on it. This entry really helped me! I’ve been beating a dead horse with trying to be “good” and the scale not moving AT ALL!!! And, I’m sure the stree of that is part of the reason I still have 40 lbs. to lose. I hope I can continue to read these real and raw blogs. It is helping me get out of my rut and I thank you for that!

  12. DivaonaDiet, 03 June, 2013

    I hope that my willingness to be honest helps others! I so love to hear it! It does inspire me too! Good luck on your journey!

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