Weekly Weigh In: It’s Time

Alexis {Diva on a Diet}'s Official Weigh In May 1, 2013It’s time. It’s time for me to stop messing around. It’s time for me to reign it in!

If you haven’t noticed, I sort of checked out again. I have hardly tweeted. I definitely haven’t blogged. It’s been like two months. (So much for a Weekly Weigh In, eh?) Ok, so partly it is because things got much busier for me in my work and personal life, but I also think I sort of checked out of everything related to my journey. And to be quite honest, I think I might have needed a break.

I gave myself permission to let loose. I gave myself permission to not care. I gave myself permission to not workout and not wear my ActiveLink. Countless times I have let anything be an excuse again… being sick, my birthday, being too busy, being stressed out, being on vacation, the weather, free food at work that will go to waste, and just plain being sick of focusing so much on my weight and what I am eating and how much I am exercising!

Let’s face it. I’m still a fat girl inside. I still just want to sit on the couch and eat a bag of potato chips. And I HATE that about myself. I have binge eaten more time in the last two months than I would like to admit. And that typically resulted in moments of screaming at myself in the mirror about how disgusting I was. Why do we do that? Surely I am not alone.

As I berate myself here, I have to give myself some sort of credit, I suppose. I found moments of will power and caring. There were weeks I started trying to track my food again. Not every meal was a blowout binge-fest. I even ran a few times. And I have been fairly active on the weekends going to festivals and walking around. I could have easily gained 20 lbs in two months, but I’m only 7.7 lbs up from goal.

So now you are thinking, “What the hell is she so worried about? That’s nothing compared to the over 60 lbs of weight you’ve still lost!” You’re right. And thank you! But it’s the fear of a possible slow downward spiral to where I used to be. And it’s also what the weigh-ins don’t tell you… My body fat percentage. I don’t know how accurate that measurement is on my scale, but I was averaging around 24-25% body fat for quite a while now. I wanted to get it even lower. I had goals of getting this body bikini-ready, but with all this craziness, it was 29% today!
Alexis' Withings Scale Body Fat Percentage and Weight ChartI can’t even tell you the last time I saw that! Well, from the chart above from my Withings Scale app, I’d say sometime last year! And I can actually see how out of shape and less muscular I have gotten. So instead of working toward that goal, I went in the complete opposite direction! Why do we do that? Surely I am not alone here either.

Alexis {Diva on a Diet}'s Success Story Featured on the Weight Watchers WebsiteWhat’s even more crazy is that during all of these weeks of slacking off, my official Success Story posted on the Weight Watchers website in March! How exciting, right?!? In fact, it’s featured again on the main Weight Watchers website when you log in as a member again this week! (——>)

 

Alexis {Diva on a Diet}'s Weight Watchers AdAnd then in April, I started popping up in Weight Watchers Online advertisements on the internet! (<——) One would think that both of these would make me get back with the program, but it was almost like, “oh my god, now the pressure’s really on!” And again, I went the opposite way. And I think I sort of retreated even more. But now I think the world is trying to give me a sign! At a time when others are thanking me for being so inspiring, I was not even following my own advice!

 

The journey just doesn’t end when you reach goal. Trust that I know I am in a better place now than I was before, but maintaining is damn hard! I feel guilty for bitching about 7.7 lbs when others have so much more to go. My apologies. I do remember being there and thinking it would never happen, but it did. And I definitely haven’t gained it all back. But I do know it’s a slippery slope, and that’s why I get scared. I don’t want to be back to over 200 lbs. I also sort of think I expect more of myself now than before, and that can apparently backfire.

Now here’s hoping that this break is actually over and I can get back on track! It’s not going to be easy! I have a camping trip this weekend and an out of town bachelorette party next weekend, and my social calendar is already stacking up for the month of May! And work is still stressing me out! I’m gonna need a lot of strength and a lot of support from you! I do know that I won’t be perfect though. I meant what I said in my success story: “I don’t have to be perfect, I just have to keep trying.”

So it’s time to try. It’s time to get back to tracking my food every day. It’s time to get back to eating less processed foods. It’s time to do #PlankADay again. It’s time to get back to using fitbolt at work. It’s time to wear my ActiveLink again and achieve my daily goal. It’s time to remember why I like running so much. It’s time to start taking my own advice again. It’s time to start inspiring myself. It’s time to be happy with myself again.

P.S. You can also check out my entire weight log here, and then you’ll see just how many times I got back up, and kept on trying. ;)

Advertisement
This entry was posted in My Progress. Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to Weekly Weigh In: It’s Time

  1. Sounds like you needed a break but are back in action! Welcome back, from PlankADay!!!

  2. You and me both, sister. I too kind of checked out from the social media and haven’t talked about my journey for the exact same reasons. Now I’m trying to just take it one day at a time. That’s really all I can do. And so far the past few days have been good and hopefully will continue in that manner!

    We’re all in this together :)
    Jill (Lady Lazarus) recently posted..happy one year blogiversary to moi!My Profile

    • DivaonaDiet says:

      Not that I am happy you are in the same boat, but it’s just such a relief to hear that you are not alone! I’ve been doing pretty good since this post, so hopefully we are both on the up and up! Take care of you, girl!

  3. LibbyP says:

    Thanks for keeping it real!! I actually came to your blog, straight from your story on WW Online.

    I started WW again last Saturday. I think it is my seventh or eighth time. But I’m not going to let that bother me – I know the plan works as long as I follow it! Just paying the fee isn’t enough!

    I’ve got about 45 pounds to lose before my daughter’s graduation next May. Twelve months. I think it is doable but I’ll need to be consistent.

    Thanks for inspiring me!

    • DivaonaDiet says:

      Do not sweat how many times you’ve restarted! I restarted a lot too! But coming back means that you have the persistence! My biggest downfall the other times was that I don’t think I was really ready and I expected myself to follow the plan perfectly. Now I know I was successful because I didn’t have to be perfect! I think you’ve got a great goal, and I wish you so much success in your journey!

  4. Kelly says:

    Followed the link to your WW success story from Facebook…what a relief to see the up and down. It is true what a struggle it is and yet you also have shown what success looks like too. Thanks for the honesty. We are only as sick as our secrets.
    Kelly recently posted..Kitchen Renovation RevealMy Profile

    • DivaonaDiet says:

      You are welcome for the honesty! And it helps for me to be honest and hear that other people have the same feelings. It’s like “Thank god, I’m not alone!” I am so grateful and happy to be where I am today, but staying a success does not come without struggles!

  5. Trina says:

    I wanted to thank you for sharing the REAL journey! I started WW Online 2 weeks ago, I want to share with you that I am exactly where you were, weight wise, health wise when you started…I am praying (and working) for the results you have gotten! You have worked so hard to get there, GOOD JOB, don’t beat your self up to hard, but also don’t start that upward slide either, you don’t want to be where I am!
    Stay Strong
    You are an inspiration for someone who’s in your OLD shoes!!

    • DivaonaDiet says:

      I know… I preach that people need to forgive themselves when they mess up, but it’s always hard to take your own advice, right?!? :) I have been doing great since this post… not perfect though! I don’t know how to do it perfect, and I was still able to be successful. If I can do this, you can do this. You’re body will thank you! So glad I can be an inspiration to someone who started in the same shoes! You will do this! Wishing you success in your journey!

  6. Jenlia67 says:

    I just want to cry after reading this. I am RIGHT here. I’d lost 75 pounds and was wearing a well fitting size 8. I had a falling out with my weight loss buddy and gave up. I ate what I wanted because I wanted to darnit .. I fell into some of my old habits, I didn’t eat whole bags of chips like I wanted to but it got pretty bad. I am up 15ish? Pounds .. I feel like an utter failure. I still go to my meetings but I am much less verbal, I don’t participate much. I have recently started going to the rec center (their treadmills are FANTASTIC) and I think I am ready to begin again. I haven’t tracked in months even after countless promises to do so. I do want to run/walk the 5k challenge in June so I REALLY think I am ready – Plus I am getting married in July and want to look amazing on our special day.

    • DivaonaDiet says:

      Not that I am glad I made you want to cry, but it is powerful to connect with someone who has the same struggles. You’re not an utter failure though! You just have to forgive yourself, and just keep trying. Sounds like you might just be back in the right mindset. And congratulations on getting married! You will look amazing no matter what on that special day!!!

  7. KathyH says:

    Thank you so much! It was like you were inside my head. Due to finances and WWatwork being cancelled, I have also returned to couch potato mode. I hope with the support of blogs like yours to get back on track, before I gain back more than the 10 I unfortunately have. Keep up the good work. I’m rooting for you!

    • DivaonaDiet says:

      Thanks, Kathy! I hope that I can inspire you to get back on track too! Since this post, I have been doing well, and I feel so much better! Still not perfect, but I don’t know any other way to roll! My best to you! And thanks for rooting for me!

  8. Yolanda says:

    omg.. reading this really hit home for me today. I don’t want to say how many times I have joined and rejoined weight watchers the latest time was this February, each time at a higher weight then the last time. after reading your story I no longer feel embarrassed and mad at myself for wanting to sit on my couch and eat potato chips, I know it is a slippery slope. I was mad that other women seem to be able to eat whatever they want and not track or gain a pound. I was feeling sorry for myself. it is time for me to end my pity party and start back tracking.. thank for being honest about your struggles.

    • DivaonaDiet says:

      I too kept coming back to Weight Watchers. Absolutely have to forgive yourself, which I have a hard time doing sometimes myself, and just keep trying! I get frustrated that other women don’t have the same thoughts in their head or don’t have to worry about it. I try hard to keep it real so that others can maybe learn from my struggles! I wish you much success on your journey! And thanks for stopping by!

  9. Rebecca says:

    Congrats on the transformation! Just discovered your blog today via a WW ad on FB. I appreciate the honesty. I am back on track with WW — exercising (not running — I think my running days may be over) — and eating more moderately. I feel good when I find that balance. The exercise is as much for my mental state as my physical one, I find. And the eating too. And yet, sometimes I forget that. Funny how the mind works! Anyway, persistence and patience are the key. Not giving up. Even when there are setbacks. Even when there are rather large setbacks . . . (30 lb. setback in my case, but have lost 20 of it again). BTW, you look great, and in all honesty, you look really beautiful in your before picture too, IMO. Thanks for putting yourself out there and sharing your journey with all of the ups and downs.

    • DivaonaDiet says:

      Thanks so much, Rebecca! I have loved hearing from people who have read my story. It has seriously inspired me as well! I agree, the exercise does wonders for mental health as well! Yet it’s so easy to forget that when you fall out of a pattern! Glad you are back on track! Thanks for stopping by! And wish you much success in your continued journey!

  10. Juice says:

    Thanks for the inspiration. I’m on Round 3 with WW.

    • DivaonaDiet says:

      You’re welcome, and just keep trying! Good luck and have faith that this will be the last time!

  11. Ali says:

    Your honesty is so helpful. I’m 7 weeks into using WW on this 30+ year journey. 17 down and about 115 to go. It’s good for me to remember that the end of this journey is not goal weight. I want to believe that but it’s just one big fat lie. Thanks for sharing your story, of the loss and the struggles to keep it off. I needed that today. My encouragement to you today: the scale does not define you.

    • DivaonaDiet says:

      Aww, thank you… so true the scale does not define me. It is a journey I am so glad I had the courage to go on! It never becomes “easy,” but remembering how far I have come even though I’ve gained some is still a relief! Good luck on your journey… you can absolutely do it!

  12. Lisa Roberts says:

    Thank you! I’ve been struggling a bit lately, too, and worrying about that slow, downward spiral you mentioned. BUT I went to read the newest success story on my WW app and followed the link to your blog. It does help to know someone else is fighting the same battles. I look forward to checking back in.

    • DivaonaDiet says:

      I’m glad it helps to know that we all continue to struggle! Sometimes I wonder if it makes people give up who aren’t to their goal yet, but I think just being real about it is the best answer! Good luck with your journey!

  13. Jennifer says:

    Thank you for your story and thank you for being real about the fact that we all go up and down! I was down 21 lbs at my lowest last year and ended up gaining back almost 10. I started back the beginning of the year and despite some minor hiccups with other health issues I’ve been back on track and am now only 3.8 lbs away from my 21 lbs again. I must say it is so nice to know that there are others who don’t feel like you have to be perfect and it gives me renewed inspiration to keep going and get to my eventual goal!! Thank you again!

    • DivaonaDiet says:

      I know so many people who have had ups and downs, it comforts me as well! Looks like you are almost back there though! That is fantastic! Keep up the good work!

  14. Amanda says:

    Wow. Here I was, berating myself for failing AGAIN, looking at the WW website, trying to convince myself it would be worth it to go back AGAIN, and I came across your success story and the link to your blog. Thank you for this post. I’m a bit teary. It is worth it, it is possible, and now I know that Thursday morning I will be back at a meeting and stepping on a scale to face the music my too-tight clothes have been playing for me for some time. I think you are brave for your honesty. Thank you for being the voice I needed to hear, telling me to get up and keep going.

    • DivaonaDiet says:

      I am so glad you are “getting back up” and trying again! It really and truly is worth it! And you’re worth it! If I can do it, you can do it. Just forgive yourself, and keep trying. I wish you much success on your journey!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge