I sooo thought about not having an official weigh in this week. That’s really hard to get away with when you are doing Weight Watchers Online. It’s not like I can just skip the meeting and not weigh in! I get up in the morning, and there is that scale in the bathroom, and it’s like it is staring at me, saying, “You better get on me!”
So yeah, I gained 2.2 lbs. And I fully expected a gain this week. I was on vacation in Michigan for a family reunion for my grandma’s 80th birthday, and we tried to fit in some visits with old friends and with the other side of the family still there. Not an easy task in 4 days, and the other two days traveling. I started out day one running and counting my points. The next day, I walked an hour with my parents. By day three, it was all over. We kept staying up till midnight or later, eating bad food and drinking wine, and then had to be up early every day to get to where we needed to go. There was no time for running. The good news is that we really did end up doing a lot of walking according to my fitbit, but my battery died Saturday night, and I didn’t realize it, so I have no idea what I did Sunday and Monday. And remember those resistance bands I bought to take with me on the trip? I didn’t even pull them out! Not to mention, I was sick come Monday morning, and I was a little sad leaving my family, so I’ve been laying around, not eating so great, and not working out.
I was really hoping to be surprised and see that I had maintained. I mean, even though I was not “good,” I did make an effort to try to eat little portions, or try to skip the more fattening stuff, or leave bread off my burger, etc. I did better than I ever would have done as a fat girl. I fully intended on getting right back on plan as soon as I got back to Atlanta, but being sick, that didn’t happen. This morning I am back on track with food, but I just couldn’t get up yesterday or today to pull out a 6am run. Even more sad, as of yesterday, it was only a 1.6 lb gain, and then I was up another 0.6 lbs today, so I fully expect my weight to continue going up in response to last week.
On the bright side, I didn’t gain back all of the weight I lost last week. I purposely worked my butt off the week before being extra-good because I really knew in my heart that it would be plain difficult to do this on vacation, so I had better get down as low as I could before I left. Although, the week before that, I had gained just about the same amount of weight I gained this week, and I was way better that week! Seems I might just be piddling around this 135 lb mark. Maybe that’s my set weight? There are more and more studies saying that your body has that. I’m still reconsidering my goal, but for now, I’m keeping it at 125. I know it won’t happen in the next few weeks, especially since I have yet another 4-day vacation coming up here on Friday!
So what’s my plan? I’ve been tweeting about how I can’t seem to get back into the swing of things, being sick, and being worried about this next vacation. I love having my twitter friends around to vent to and get advice from! Jonathan threw some positive self-talk my way, who said, “Here’s a new way to think about it. Not being ON or OFF. Just being. Repeat after me: “I’m a WeightWatcher.” See? You’re back!” and “Strength is not required. Vacation is allowed. We are neither ON nor OFF. We just ARE WeightWatchers!” And I’ve been going back and forth with Shonna about our vacations messing us up, and I said, “It’s just the first time I’ve been so “not in control” since early Dec. Kinda scary when you’ve come so far.” and she said, “I totally understand! It was so easy for a while. What do we do? (not hypothetical).” I didn’t really have an answer. I’m just a little scared. I’ve been sticking to this for 7 and 1/2 months straight (since I re-committed to the program on December 7, 2011). And even though running (really cardio in general) has become a big part of my life, I haven’t done any in 5 days, and I could easily continue to not do it. I’m still not in love with fitness. I wish I was. But I think (I hope) that the knowledge that I just have to do it will get me back there. I’ve decided I am again going to try to do my best on this vacation, knowing that it will not even be close to what I normally do, but also allow myself that vacation. I will be having wine and cake and those damn yummy empanadas they always get! So what if I gain another couple pounds? It’s not all 65 of them. So what if I don’t run every day I’m there? Doesn’t mean I won’t ever run again. I’ve got to keep it in perspective. I need to believe that once this trip is over, I will eventually get back into it. Even if it isn’t right away. I think my brain and my heart know that I just have to, and it will happen. I just have to know that I can’t unravel all the hard work that I’ve done in just two weeks. I might set myself back a bit, but I can’t undo it all. It’s hard, and it’s scary. But I need to believe.
Weight: 136.5 lbs
Change this week: +2.2 lbs
Total lost: -64.6 lbs
You can also check out my weight loss progress log
And if you’re wondering, it’s not actually week 33 on Weight Watchers, it’s just week 33 of giving weekly updates since re-committing myself to the program.