Well, I should be more happy. I had a pretty damn good week. I didn’t even use all of my weekly PointsPlus, and I earned 42 Activity Points walking at least an hour all 7 days. I’ve even been doing planks, crunches, and push-ups for the #plankaday and #6packMarch challenges. Ok, so I wasn’t entirely, perfectly healthy every single day, but I never am! Nor do I intend to be, or I will never make it through this thing! And yes, it’s a loss. In fact, it’s my 16th straight week of a loss! Hell, I even got another happy little bouncy additional 5 lb star for it! I should be thrilled, but why aren’t I?!?
Well, I have also been weighing in on Saturdays for the Monica’s Birthday Challenge. This past Saturday, I weighed in at 159.4 lbs! And I stayed in the 150’s through Monday! It was soooooo exciting to see me finally in the one 150’s! The last time I was in the 150’s was in 2007, when I lost 15 lbs to get down to 155 to be a bridesmaid in my best friend’s wedding! So, when I got around to my Weight Watchers Online official weigh in day on Wednesday, being back up at 160.5 lbs was not exactly thrilling. Officially a 1.2 lb loss, but all I could think is that it was a 1.1 gain since Saturday. And with all the food I didn’t eat, and all the walking I did, I was looking for a big loss! I have really been wanting to get back to averaging a 2 lb a week loss, but it’s just not happening. My average for the last 4 weeks is down to 1.5 lbs a week. Ok, so I know, no one is feeling sorry for me right now!
But then it got worse. In just one day, on Thursday, I somehow gained another 1.5 lbs as I weighed in at 162 lbs! What the hell was happening!?! I hadn’t changed a thing! And wouldn’t you know it, it was that very day that I planned to finally take a day off from working out for the first time in 14 days straight, and I was going out to a belated birthday dinner to splurge that night. I was so irritated that I was already up a few pounds before even taking it off or eating dinner!!! But you know what, I so deserved to take a night off after 14 days, and so I ate what I later estimated to be about a 52 PointsPlus(!) dinner of an amazing macadamia nut crusted tilapia with orange beurre blanc (that’s straight up real butter sauce!) with a side of roasted brussels sprouts with pancetta, some sort of biscuity-bread thing, oh, and a half a bottle of wine along with a third of an appetizer of mussels in white wine sauce. Well, I could have done worse, I suppose. I could have had a fried appetizer, an entire bottle of wine, a second biscuit, and the lobster mac & cheese as a side, but I didn’t. As it turns out, I make brussels sprouts better than they do, but they can cook the hell out of a buttery, nutty giant tilapia filet! That was totally worth it! And at least it was fish and not a nut crusted butter steak?!? ha ha Well, I even thought about making myself go for a walk after all when I got home. For a second. But I had been sooooo good for the last however many days, I’ve got blisters on my feet to prove it, so don’t I deserve to have a day off? So the extent of my workout for the day was a last minute plank before I went to bed. Funny that after all that food, I actually weighed less this morning! But still at an unsatisfying 161.6 lbs. I figure it was the wine that dehydrated me enough to make up for the food gorging!
Ok now, I know what you are going to say. “STOP WEIGHING YOURSELF EVERY DAY!” You are right. And here’s what else you may be saying, “WEIGHT FLUCTUATES ON A DAILY BASIS BY 2 POUNDS!” Also right, but I have been working my ass off, and I had just made it in to the 150’s and just made it past the 40 lbs lost mark… and well, now I am not!!! And if I don’t miraculously lose more than 2.2 lbs by tomorrow morning, I will officially have a gain for the Monica’s Birthday Challenge, and my 2 week reign as the leader will end! (waaaaahhh!! **on the floor throwing a temper tantrum!!!**)
And as if that’s not enough, the Dr. Oz Transformation Nation Million Dollar You official final weigh in is April 2-9… that’s next week! I need to have lost 10% of my weight since my January official weigh in to qualify for that $1 million prize, which has to be done in clothes at a Weight Watchers location, and not in the nude in the morning before eating like my weigh ins are! I estimated that I needed to weigh under 161 on my scale to weigh in at a 10% loss on their scale! And here I am teetering right near that! Okay. So realistically, even if I qualify, the likelihood of me winning is slim to none, but I would just like to at least qualify, especially for all this hard work I am doing! And then here comes the “guilt monster”… What hard work? You are enjoying yourself far too much to be losing any weight! Who do you think you are!?!
So I feel like my plans for today and every day until I go to that damm official weigh in should be running like 3 hours a day, eating nothing but baked chicken breast, steamed veggies, zero fat, zero carbs, zero sodium, and gallons of water. Hmmm, yeah… that’s not gonna happen. I didn’t make it this far by doing that! I had to let myself have fun sometimes, even if it meant stacking all three mini-burger sliders on just one baby bun and leaving off the cheese and mayo at the sports bar for my birthday, or walking instead of trying to make myself run because I know I could get through an hour of walking and actually enjoy some of it.
Here’s the true question I have to ask myself: So what if you have a gain this week, and moreover, so what if you don’t qualify for that $1 million? ANSWER: You have still lost about 40 total pounds… something you have never done in your entire life. You still aren’t going to give up. You still managed to have fun and enjoy many moments while you worked hard to lose that. You will continue on with this not-hardcore new-found lifestyle of yours because it is working because you are healthier! (Remember your total cholesterol was down to 199!) You don’t have to be super-skinny. (Remember you like having boobs!) You don’t have to be a gym-loving athlete. (Nope, you NEVER like to feel the burn!) You just have to keep doing what you are doing with the goal of being healthier in mind, and remember that sometimes things don’t work out exactly the way you want them and you will never be perfect. You think you would have learned that by now!
So, now after all that, what are my plans tonight? I plan to try to walk outside my usual 61 minutes (that’s what it takes to get 5 Activity Points for my weight these days). And if it rains, which it is supposed to storm!, then I will try my best to do an hour of something indoors, be it Wii Fit, or a fitness DVD’s, or my treadmill (which for some reason is sooo much harder for me than walking outside!), or a combination of them all. And then, I am just going to try to eat my daily points, and hell, it’s Friday, so I might even have some wine and use up all those weekly points this week! And then I will weigh in tomorrow and step aside for the new proud leader in the Monica’s Birthday Challenge, and be okay with it! What’s that saying… “You can’t win ‘em all!” But in the words of the entertaining train wreck, Charlie Sheen, “I’m winning.” Yep, I’m still winning as long as I keep on trying!
Wow, I’m glad I had this talk with myself! So thanks for reading, if you even made it this far, I apparently needed that! I feel a little better now! I need to remember I can always vent here and that I don’t have to put up a spectacularly perfect blog post. Again, I forget I’m not perfect!
Weight: 160.5 lbs (as of Wednesday)
Change this week: -1.2 lbs
Total lost: -40.6 lbs
You can also check all my progress
And if you’re wonder, it’s not actually week 16 on Weight Watchers, it’s just week 16 of giving weekly updates since re-committing myself to the program.