As I was walking/running (aka jogging in a runner’s world), I was noticing all the disgusting, yet sometimes funny things I do, and realized why it is I choose to workout at home, and thanking god my parents gifted me with a nice treadmill years ago that I am finally using! I thought I’d share them with you because, well, you might think it’s funny too. Or you’ll just think it’s plain gross. Either way, it could equal pure “entertainment value.” 😉
- I sweat like a banshee. (I don’t even know how much they sweat or what a banshee is, but it sounded good.)
- My face turns the color of beet within seconds of exerting any kind of effort.
- My nose runs so badly that I am constantly sniffing it back up really loudly and (grossly) swallowing it because there is no where else for it to go.
- I belch sometimes. This is from what I can only assume is one part acid reflux, one part I burp when I get hungry, and one part now that I jog for part of my walks, it jiggles my stomach acid all over the place.
- Because I sweat so much, I often take my shirt off, and my middle is not so pretty right now stuffed in between my sports bra and my workout pants.
- When I start jogging, sometimes I realize my sports bra is not as supportive as I thought, and I have to hold my boobs to avoid pain, not to mention the possibility of further stretching them out! (Although, maybe guys might like watching a girl jogging holding her jugs?)
- I often make weird sounds when I am jogging, such as grunting when trying to get through just one more minute. I would feel like a fool needing to do that for a 5 minute 4 MPH jog while the person next to me is sprinting at a 6 MPH pace with barley a whimper.
- When I have to talk to myself to keep going, just saying it in my head doesn’t work. I literally have to talk out loud to myself.
- When I talk out loud to myself, I often curse.
- I have on occasion farted uncontrollably. Eating healthy fibrous vegetables can sometimes backfire on you… literally. (Ok, I know this must happen to everyone every once in a while… admit it!)
Ok, now that I hopefully made you laugh (or perhaps gag?), I forgot to tell you the coolest thing of all. Yesterday, I jogged two 5-minute straight intervals at 4 MPH. That’s 10 freaking minutes of running (in my world)! It’s something there is no way I would have tried in a gym because I was doing like 8 out of 10 items above! I was so freaking proud of myself. I for some reason, just couldn’t pull it out today, but I am just amazing myself each day with how far I’ve come. about 8 weeks ago, I was crying during a workout because I couldn’t hardly do it and it hurt, now I push through my pansy-ass thinking sometimes! ha ha!