Top 10 Reasons I Don’t Work Out at the Gym

What did you have in mind?As I was walking/running (aka jogging in a runner’s world), I was noticing all the disgusting, yet sometimes funny things I do, and realized why it is I choose to workout at home, and thanking god my parents gifted me with a nice treadmill years ago that I am finally using! I thought I’d share them with you because, well, you might think it’s funny too. Or you’ll just think it’s plain gross. Either way, it could equal pure¬†“entertainment value.” ūüėČ

  1. I sweat like a¬†banshee. (I don’t even know how much they sweat or what a banshee is, but it sounded good.)
  2. My face turns the color of beet within seconds of exerting any kind of effort.
  3. My nose runs so badly that I am constantly sniffing it back up really loudly and (grossly) swallowing it because there is no where else for it to go.
  4. I belch sometimes. This is from what I can only assume is one part acid reflux, one part I burp when I get hungry, and one part now that I jog for part of my walks, it jiggles my stomach acid all over the place.
  5. Because I sweat so much, I often take my shirt off, and my middle is not so pretty right now stuffed in between my sports bra and my workout pants.
  6. When I start jogging, sometimes I realize my sports bra is not as supportive as I thought, and I have to hold my boobs to avoid pain, not to mention the possibility of further stretching them out! (Although, maybe guys might like watching a girl jogging holding her jugs?)
  7. I often make weird sounds when I am jogging, such as grunting when trying to get through just one more minute. I would feel like a fool needing to do that for a 5 minute 4 MPH jog while the person next to me is sprinting at a 6 MPH pace with barley a whimper.
  8. When I have to talk to myself to keep going, just saying it in my head doesn’t work. I literally have to talk out loud to myself.
  9. When I talk out loud to myself, I often curse.
  10. I have on occasion farted uncontrollably. Eating healthy¬†fibrous¬†vegetables can sometimes backfire on you… literally.¬†(Ok, I know this must happen to everyone every once in a while… admit it!)

Ok, now that I hopefully made you laugh (or perhaps gag?), I forgot to tell you the coolest thing of all. Yesterday, I jogged two 5-minute straight intervals at 4 MPH. That’s 10 freaking minutes of running (in my world)! It’s something there is no way I would have tried in a gym because I was doing like 8 out of 10 items above! I was so freaking proud of myself. I for some reason, just couldn’t pull it out today, but I am just amazing myself each day with how far I’ve come. about 8 weeks ago, I was crying during a workout because I couldn’t hardly do it and it hurt, now I push through my pansy-ass thinking sometimes! ha ha!

:) Happy Friday.

  1. Deborah (Schmiet), 11 February, 2012

    So…. while I may not have partaken in the farting and stripping WHEN I was learning to run I did it on a treadmill at the gym. THOUGH… I used to go after the lunch peak period, so there were just a couple of people around – and I didn’t worry about sweating and getting red and looking like I may well keel over at any moment.

    Hey – all of that aside – well done for getting in there and doing it!

  2. Linda, 11 February, 2012

    I just happened upon your site and loved your post on staying away from the gym. I can so relate! I have many of the same problems. I have lost 42lbs and reached my goal weight. When I first started on my treadmill I didn’t go very fast or very far. Now I can run at 5.5 for 35 min! And am continuing to get better. You should be proud of your workouts! Keep up the good work

  3. GiGi Eats Celebrities, 12 February, 2012

    I sweat like a marathon runner, that’s for sure… and wear NEXT TO NOTHING when working out. People who don’t sweat at the gym are clearly NOT WORKING OUT HARD ENOUGH!!

  4. honi, 12 February, 2012

    Love your blog… and am looking forward to keeping up with you on your journey best of luck! I am starting again myself…

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