So, I was writing my first little blog post over at the Weight Watchers Online Community… trying to get my frustrations off my chest, and I thought, I needed to come on over here and let you know where the hell I’ve been! (That is, if anyone is even reading it these days!)
You see, I hit my 5% goal (in Weight Watchers, your first goal is to loose 5% of your total body weight) back on July 20th (and that’s a measly 10 lbs, mind you). I went on thyroid medication back then too, so according to my endocrinologist and my general practitioner, that 10 lbs could have been just from re-balancing my thyroid. Thanks for the vote of confidence, docs! Geez!
Anyway, since then, I have been hovering around that mark for almost 3 & 1/2 months now! I know that time flies, but seriously, what the heck am I paying a monthly fee of $17.95 for Weight Watchers Online if I am not even going to do the work! (Clearly, I am very good at wasting money.)
So, I swear, this is like my “millionth” time saying I am gonna do this, and clearly, have not. I would say I tracked my PointsPlus or even cared about what I was putting in my mouth less than 40% of the time over the last 3 months! And after several doctors appointments over the last few months diagnosing me with low thyroid, metabolic syndrome and fibroids, and finding out all my cholesterol numbers were dramatically worse than last year… all of which require me to eat right, exercise, and lose weight to get better… what did I do? Of course I continued to pay my Weight Watchers online fee, not track my foods, eat bad about 50% of the time, and not do a dern bit of exercise! I think the only reason I managed to hover around this 10 lbs weight loss mark was because I managed to eat very low calorie breakfasts and lunches most of the time during the work week…. and well, you are right, doc… probably the thyroid medication.
And to make matters worse for my weight loss attempt… for the last two months, I have have been planning this large fundraiser, and as much as it is ACTUALLY taking up most of my free time, I am using it as free reign to eat whatever I want half the time and not get off the couch to do any activity!
So, somehow, the last few days (what I really mean is, since Sunday!), I’ve got some determination in me again. (yeah!) I think part of it was that I really did finally get scared about my health. (What ever it takes, right?) I got scared that my latest cholesterol tests were through the roof, and that diabetes runs in my family, and that I am single and alone, and who the heck is gonna take care of me when I have a heart attack when I am 50? …that kind of scared. I am just hoping this sticks… that this fear lasts long enough for me to do it. I mean, I am stubborn about everything else… why not this?!?
I also saw that Dr. Oz’s Transformation Nation: Million Dollar You, and thought, winning $1 million would be cool too! Have you seen this? You sign up at Dr. Oz’s ShareCare community, take a couple of “quizzes” and you officially weigh in at a Weight Watchers meeting during certain time periods (no, you don’t actually have to be a Weight Watchers member), and based on your final weight and how much you “transform” according to several factors, you could win $1 million dollars!… oh, and get healthy!!!
So I signed up, and after taking all my quizzes, my overall results were “dangerously unhealthy,” and I had to choke back tears. I guess I know that, but I don’t feel like I am literally at death’s door… nor am I morbidly obese, nor eat fast food every day, nor smoke… so I think I rationalize that into, “I am not that bad off!” But that “DANGEROUSLY UNHEALTHY” staring me in the face was just one of the many signs I have been getting lately, just screaming at me, “take care of yourself, damn it! You’re gonna die young or have no quality of life!”
So here I am. And well, it’s only Tuesday. So far, so good. I am stubbornly making myself track my food online and avoiding the temptations of food I don’t need at work or at home. And I have stopped using the fundraiser as a reason to basically keep myself “sick.”
The fundraiser is this weekend, so I even thought, hey, maybe I can lose a few pounds before then! But I will set a more reasonable goal: I want to maintain where I started on Sunday… I weighed in at 186.6 on my fancy-dancy wifi scale. Crossing my fingers that I can hold out this week. I figure, if I can make myself do this while I am incredibly busy this week, then I have to do it when this is over!
Now, I am going to go force myself to get on the treadmill!!! Those emails I need to respond to for the fundraiser will still be in that inbox in 30 minutes! Right now, my health has to take priority!
Thanks for letting me vent!